Dear Alex; Life sometime sucks and things aren't fair.

Dear Alex,

Your Mom told me that today is induction into the JNHS and you are upset that you aren't one of those kids up on stage.

You are right. It sucks. It isn't fair. And you deserve to be up there.

But Alex, I am here to tell you that sometimes life sucks. Things aren't fair, and we often do not get what we deserve.

Your best friend gets the girl (or boy) of your dreams. 

Someone else buys that perfect car or house right out from under you. 

You work your butt off but don't get the promotion. 

Some idiot is elected president and sets about systematically destroying the good in your country.

Your dad or your mom dies before you are ready to see them go. 

Your kids hurt and you can't make things all better for them. 

But I also want to tell you that, in the grand scheme of things, none of these things, including the idiocy of how folks are chosen for the JNHS, is really important.

Yes, it feels like the most important thing in the world when it happens. And for those of us who are perfectionists, we wonder what we could have done differently to change the outcome, and beat ourselves up over those imaginary fixes that we did not do.

And for those of us who are fairness freaks, it makes us so angry that something unfair occurred because, well, it isn't fecking fair! (pardon my Irish)

You see Alex, being in the JNHS does not guarantee you that you will be a success in college. Or that you will want to go to college. Or that going to college will provide you with the perfect job. It is lovely, oh so lovely, to be recognized for being the amazing young man that you are. But, as Boppa used to say, that and a buck will buy you a cup of coffee. Recognition is great for about a day, but you can't live on it.

As someone who was never inducted in the NHS because she cheered for her friends from the sidelines and did not play basketball or run track, I know how it feels to be in your shoes. But only if I think back really hard. Because you see, at this point in my life I can see that being in NHS would not have made things any different. 

That is difficult for you to understand right now, when you are hurting and angry, but trust me Alex: it doesn't matter.

But there are a lot of things about this day that DO matter. I know that you will get this after the day is over, but I hope to God that you went to school today and that you clapped for those who were inducted and that you congratulated your friends who made it in with an honest smile on your face and real joy in your heart for their happiness. Sitting at home and pouting would not change a thing and would only prove that you didn't deserve to be in the JNHS. Refusing to applaud or congratulate, and being petulant and taking the joy from those we were inducted would have been mean and petty and below you. You ARE a leader. You ARE an excellent young man. And you show that by how you behave in adversity.

I know that you worked hard on your essay. I suspect that it was one of the most interesting and well-written ones that the committee ever read. Take pride in that. And take pride in the fact that you were the better man, so to speak, and did not rain on the parades of those who were inducted.

It doesn't matter to you right now, but know that I love you. I am proud of you and who you are, not what you accomplish. I don't give a rat's patootie how many awards, honors, and decorations you get in life. I do care that you are a good person and a man of integrity.

I am adding a note here for your Mom, so be sure that she reads this. You can read it, too, because one day you may be in her shoes, hurting because someone you would die for is hurting and you can't fix it. Maybe some of this will be useful on that day.

I love you, Alex, and there aren't enough stars in the sky to award to you in my books. But if you never earn a single one, I will still love you, and in the end, loving and being loved is all that matters.

Aunt Kate

There is No Such Things as Free Universal Healthcare

I just need to spout off a bit here about healthcare and the idea that the government should pay for everyone to have health insurance.

It sounds lovely, except "the government" doesn't have money.

It takes my money and your money to pay for the things it does.

And on the surface, the idea that we all pay a little more in taxes to give everyone "free" health insurance seems fair.

But the problem is that without regulations restricting the costs of medicines, hospitalization, routine immunizations, and doctor's salaries, that "free" health care will cost more and more every year, meaning that my taxes will go up and up.

And so will yours.

As the country ages, the cost of insurance will go up and up.

And we are an obese nation, so the costs will go up even more.

And the insurance companies will decide that they want more money, and the pharmaceutical companies will want more money, and the nurses and doctors will want more money (because they are paying more taxes for health insurance) so the cost of our health insurance will go up some more.

See how this works?

Are you willing to pay a third of your income in taxes to subsidize health insurance for everyone?

Maybe before we start handing out "free" stuff, we should start by restricting the costs.

And yes, doctors and nurses are wonderful people, but should they make ten or twenty or fifty times as much as a school teacher makes?

And yes, I realize that the cost of their education is obscenely high, so we probably need to address the rising cost of a public school education.

It seems like there is an awful lot to fix, doesn't there?

Maybe the government should go back to regulating insurance and big pharma costs.

Maybe more money should be spent on creating public parks.

Some more money could be spent on school so that kids get back their recess time. (Back when I was in elementary school we had two 15 minute recesses and a 30 minute recess after our 30 minute lunch. Not today.)

How about we teach kids how to cook again.

And then lets provide incentives for eating healthy and exercise, because (sadly) we seem to have forgotten how to do those things in this country.

Less medicine, more outdoors. Fewer drug, more veggies.

I would much rather pay to give people free fruit and vegetables than pay to give the insurance industry more money. I would rather fund parks and playgrounds and after school activities than big pharma.