My Mother and the City of Portland: The intolerance and bigotry of the self-righteous

My parents were fundamentalist Christians. They were stricter than strict, and believed that they knew exactly what was right and wrong. Ask them about any subject and they had an opinion and a Bible verse to back it up. Be kind to others. Don’t say hurtful things to or about others. No judging other people. Help other people. But there was no tolerance for those who were wrong and there were never grey areas when it came to right and wrong. I recall asking if she was faced with my imminent death but a lie would save me, would my mother tell that lie. I knew the answer before I asked, so I am not sure why I asked that question, and Mom did not disappoint when she told me that she would not tell a lie to save my life.

Weird upbringing, wasn’t it? So full of goodness and love, openness and acceptance, and so narrow-minded and bigoted in its own way.

Today Mom is still the same. She knows right and wrong. There are no questions for her. There is sin out there and she can spot it. She doesn’t hesitate to tell people when they are doing wrong, and she doesn’t pull her punches. (Dad has been dead for ten years now, but that is a different story.) In Mom’s world, you are either on the side of right, or you are wicked. She still is kind to others. Doesn’t discriminate based on appearances. And she is helpful and generous with her time. This is a nearly 80-year-old lady who still delivers food for Meals on Wheels. Don’t get me wrong, Mom is a Good Person. But if you disagree with her about how to live and believe, you are the worst kind of sinner and you are, of course, going straight to Hell if you don’t change your evil ways.

I live in Portland, Oregon. A mecca of liberalism. There is not much you can say or do to raise an eyebrow around here. I used to have students try to see what it is like to go against the grain and they discovered how hard it is to find a grain to go against. It certainly does make for some wonderfully interesting people and events, and there is a certain open, easy vibe to this city that I appreciate.

But here’s the funny-weird, not funny-ha-ha part. These folks are Just. Like. My. Mom. If you disagree with them about how to live and believe, you are the worst kind of person in the world and, if they believed in Hell, they would damn you there as fast as possible. Here in Portland we are all about love and tolerance and diversity. As long as you aren’t a straight white Christian male who doesn’t feel compelled to wear a rainbow pin or march in the latest parade or protest. Then you are clearly a closet homophobe and you probably beat your wife or girlfriend, assuming you can get a woman to even look at you, you sorry loser. If you are a woman who doesn’t believe that abortion is right, then you are some sort of conservative whack-a-doodle who is the sole and personal reason that women everywhere are all denied all forms of birth control and abortions.

The violent vehemence of my mother and my city against someone who dares to disagree with them is breath-taking in both the speed of the attack, the totality of the condemnation, and the similarity of the language used to condemn the heathen infidel.

The complete lack of toleration for the person who thinks or believes differently is identical. That person is “wrong” and if he or she refuses to completely convert to the acceptable way of thinking then he or she is unworthy of any tolerance or compassion.

So what if the unrepentant sinner supports Mom’s right to believe and live her life as she pleases? The fact that he or she believes that it is no big deal if gay couples marry is a clear indicator of their loose morals and sinful attitude. Go to Hell. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200.

So what if the unrepentant Republican/bigot/racist/homophobe/fill-in-the-blank supports a gay couple’s right to marry? The fact that he or she personally thinks it is morally wrong makes them anathema to all right-thinking people. Karma is going to get you and she is a bitch. Don’t say I didn’t tell you so.

It makes my head spin.

And it makes me laugh.

Because both sides - my mother and the Portland PC-police - are really the same thing. They are both examples of basically good people who believe strongly in right and wrong and who also have absolutely zero tolerance for anyone anywhere who believes differently than they do.

And while I can ignore and avoid much of the intolerance and bigotry of self-righteous Portland, it is more difficult to ignore and avoid the intolerance and bigotry of my self-righteous mother.